My Wife

Most people are somewhat astonished to learn that I am heading off to Macedonia for 27 months without my wife, Lee. It’s not like we planned it to be this way. She initially brought up the idea of joining the Peace Corps upon my retirement from teaching. She believed it would be an opportunity to serve together to use our experiences (she a journalist, me an educator)to perhaps make a little bit of a difference somewhere.

We went through the procedures as outlined on the Peace Corps website. We filled out the online application as a couple; we were invited to an interview and apparently convinced them we would not kill each other during 27 months of relative deprivation and we were nominated for a position in Eastern Europe. We completed our medical and dental evaluation; we got the required immunizations; and then we waited for an invitation. We read everything we could get our hands on regarding the Peace Corps, started to learn Russian, made preliminary plans for taking care of our home, and we were totally psyched.

To our great disappointment, we learned shortly after Christmas that she had been refused the medical clearance we thought would be a formality at that point, and we were both rejected from serving.

We then executed Plan B, which was to find positions as a couple with VISTA or AmeriCorps within the USA. We soon found out that unlike the Peace Corps, which places you in a position, the other volunteer agencies merely provide listings of positions throughout the country to which you apply on an individual basis. We were unable to find two positions at the same location.

Plan C was to get our ESL certification and teach in one of the many English language schools overseas. The hustling to get students, the visa requirements, the tutoring schedule and, most importantly, the fact that we would most likely be teaching only students whose families could afford to pay for lessons eventually turned us away from that path. While it would have been a great adventure, we still hoped to reach people who lacked the resources to help themselves and truly needed our assistance.

So after months of investigating alternatives to the Peace Corps, we had to concede that, for the time being at least, there are limited opportunities for couples to volunteer together. As the leading edge of the Baby Boom, we have always been the ones to come up against expectations that no longer fit our circumstances, and this seems to be another case of it.

Then one morning, Lee, putting aside her own disappointment and, to be honest, a bit of anger over being rejected despite the full support of her personal physicians, suggested that I reactivate my application as an individual. She did it because she knew it was important to me, how disappointed I was, and how difficult it would be for her to have me moping around the house for the next 30 years.

She reminded me that our sons and my family are nearby and that our wonderful neighbors and friends are all readily available to assist her if she ever needs help or companionship. She confessed that she really can mow lawns, shovel snow and rake leaves. I had been deceived for 34 years.

She will stay home and bang on currently locked doors until she has made the powers that be understand that a wave of civic-minded boomers will soon be retiring and looking for meaningful volunteer work—and that a large percentage of them would be in pairs, be they married couples, partners, or just friends.The Peace Corp, she said, understands what other agencies may not: that at 25 we are ready to take on the world single-handedly; by 50 we realize that nearly everything is better when it’s shared.

With her assurances and heartfelt blessing, I reactivated my application and three weeks later was invited to serve a tour in Macedonia. Thank you again, sweetie for giving me this opportunity. I love you!

It is now D-Day minus 8, so I will continue on my quest to fit everything I think I’ll “need” into 2 suitcases with a 100lb. limit and a 107 inch total dimension (H+L+W) + (H+W+H).